Revelation

No, it's not about the toxic friends. Still putting that post off.

Rather, it's about possible Baby Number 3. Long, long ago I was a gal who said she would "never have children" and then something switched. I went to the opposite end of the spectrum and said I would love to have 4 children. Then Hubby and I came to a compromise and we agreed on the golden number 3. As I lie in a hospital bed right after I had Lovebug, vomiting and trying to nurse at the same time (yeah, THAT was fun! n.o.t.) I still held strong to golden number 3. Then Babygirl came along. That pregnancy was a lot different from my first and recovering from surgery with two sweet ladies to take care of was pretty difficult. And my body, well, as I've said before, was changed! I gained 55 pounds each time I was pregnant. But even with all that I still held onto the golden number 3. But now as time has passed I started waining. Second guessing myself. Wondering why I would change the dynamic of the family, of my girls relationship. Was I being selfish? And I do already have 2 beautiful, perfectly healthy babies, wasn't that enough? And in my super obsessive state I worried about the effects of middle child syndrome on Babygirl. Lovebug would always have the first of everything with me and a baby would have the last. Where did that leave Babygirl. So I've struggled with this for several months now thinking I'd finally made a decision that I was comfortable with, no more babies for me. Until yesterday...and it was a simple moment brushing my girls' hair and chatting with them in the bathroom. And I realized that there is enough love in this house for just one more!...