Monday, December 24, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Social gatherings during cold weather? Not really my thing. Putting on something other than workout gear, comfy lounge clothes (ok, who am I kidding that's my workout stuff or my pj's!), or flannel pj pants? Not digging that either.
The holidays provide a double edge sword for my little dilemma. On one hand, I love the merriment of Christmas. The lights, the food, the decor, the time with my babies and the Hubs, the food, the cocktails, the memory making.
But, I truly loathe getting out in the craziness in the cold weather. Sigh.
How many days until Spring?
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Yesterday I was off in a rush to make some last Christmas purchases for my precious babies. Macho Man was home with the Hubs and the girls were at school safe and sound. About the time I entered the American Girl store some sweet, sweet babies many miles away were facing an inexplicable horror. Pure evil.
The first I heard of it, I was in a dressing room in J Crew. No real details were given.
Then I got home and turned on the television. Immediately, I became glued to the television and the tears began to fall.
How could this happen? How could you look at those precious babies in the face and commit such a heinous crime? Why?
Lovebug had a sleepover to go to (and I obliged even though I wanted to keep her in arm's reach) so we piled the two littles into the car to look at Christmas lights and grab dinner. The everyday. The seemingly ordinary. I kept looking at them at the back seat and tears kept springing to my eyes. I felt thankful, but I also felt guilty for being able to enjoy such a simple pleasure with my children while others were experiencing the unthinkable.
I let Birdie fall asleep with me on the couch last night and then we had a "sleepover" in Mommy's bed. Very early this morning I woke up to those big blue eyes looking at me. Again, I felt thankful...and guilty. For some, this was the first morning that they woke up without their child. As I looked into her eyes, I again wondered "How?" How could someone look an innocent child in the eyes and still be heartless enough to pull the trigger?
I just looked at the victims list. The majority of them are the same age as Birdie. 6. 6 few years. Their parents everything. I let my mind wonder to thoughts that I shouldn't. Christmas presents that will never be opened. What the 13th or 14th victim was thinking as this was all going on. Parents remembering their goodbyes from just that morning. That last hug. The final "I love you".
I think I will have to quit watching the news. It's too overwhelming to comprehend. And again, I feel guilty.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Thanking him for Macho Man specifically.
After Birdie, I had thought I wanted to have one more baby, but after being off of birth control (tmi?) for quite a while and not being pregnant I started making plans.
Plans for a family of 4...not 5. Traveling more. No more baby toys, furniture, etc. all around the house. Sleeping in on Saturdays. Smaller car.
I made my list and did the whole pro and cons of getting pregnant again. I made a decision. I was done with babies...and I was fine with that in my heart. So much so that when I found out I was pregnant I cried. I mean, cried cried. And it pains my heart to say this, they were not happy tears. I cried for a week. Finally I accepted that I was in deed pregnant, but I wasn't ever over the moon excited. I spent the last 2 weeks of pregnancy very sick and that didn't help things.
Macho Man was born on November 5th and I fell in love with him immediately...BUT...I just felt off. Then the horrible feeling like I was drowning started. I felt like I literally couldn't come up for air and that the weight of everything was just pushing in all around me. Looking back I realize that I was suffering from postpartum depression. It sucked. Macho Man bonded with the Hubs so much quicker and easier than with me. And that made it even worse.
But here we are three years later and I think of how this family would have never in a million years have been complete without my spirited, sweet little boy. His hugs and kisses make my heart melt. He's a Mama's boy that thinks of his Daddy as his best friend.
Another example of how God (and his plans) are always perfect!!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Good music. Yep. That simple. There is nothing like riding in the car with the kiddos and everyone belting out a tune together. At the same time, how happy do you get when you hear a song that just takes you back to a different place or time? I've already experienced both this morning and they are both equally wonderful.
A good ole Clemson sunset. I am privileged to live in God's Country as we call it in the Upstate and I swear he paints the sky purple and orange just for us Tigers every evening.
Texting. I am not a phone talker, except to the Hubs and maybe a handful of my closest friends. Texting is completely my jam!
A good smelling candle. Is there really anything better than walking into a room and it be filled with one of your favorite scents?? (If the room is still clean from where you cleaned it up 15 minutes earlier that's like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!)
Magazines and catalogs in my mailbox. While I admit, I hate having to deal with mounds of mail (just like laundry!), I love getting all snug in the bed after all the littles are asleep, watching some smut television and just pouring over my magazines and catalogs.
It's the little things, folks.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
My Lumineers CD, yes, I said CD, because I do not own a I-anything. And yes, I am straight out of the stone ages!
When Macho Man says the dinner prayer, he prays with one eye open so he can keep watch over the rest of us. Takes everything we all have not to crack up!
Pumpkin Pie Martinis. Pumpkin anything for that matter. Yum!
My Under Armor waffle weave pull over with a hood AND pouch. Perfect for walks.
The new show Nashville. Good stuff I tell ya!
Clemson football. Duh.
The fact that the election is 13 days away. Thank you sweet baby Jesus, maybe then all the crazy rants on facebook will end. Crossing fingers!
Monday, October 8, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Some quality beach time (but I could always use more salt air in my lungs)
Getting to know the (non drama) neighbors that I had shied away from the past 2+ years thanks to
the resident drama queen in the 'hood.
A weekend getaway to Old Edwards Inn for just the Hubs and I (the first such trip in 3 years!)
A fantastic gun safety/personal safety class (yes, the Wife is locked and loaded)
The Hubs first cancer screening. Yep.
Two nights in the hospital with Macho Man (and of course, that included an ambulance ride in the
middle of the night for he and I since Hubs was 7 hours away!)
Birdie was ran over by a fellow child on a bicycle...and after he hit her with his first wheel he proceeded to ride his brakes across her chest with the back wheel. And his parents have yet to
apologize or even have a conversation with me about it. Yeah, don't get me started on that one.
The beginning of Clemson football again--GO TIGERS!! Lovebug and I got to walk in right
behind the players this past weekend and she got to rub the Rock right behind them! Loved it!
A few little day trips here and there.
And the list goes on and on and on. When I was little I remember that it took forever for it to be either your birthday or Christmas and I vividly remember my Dad saying that when you get older that time moves faster. For the life of me I couldn't understand what that meant. Now, I know all too well what that means and it just leaves me wondering "Where has the time gone?"
Monday, April 23, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
I have recently been asked by several ppl about my decision to become involved with the Susan G Komen 3 Day Breast Cancer walk. The simple answer is that I walk to raise money and awareness for breast cancer. Here are some statics to ponder:
1 in 8 US women will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime.
A man’s risk of breast cancer is about 1 in 1,000. (yes, the men in our lives need to do self exams too!)
In 2011, about 40,000 women in the U.S. were expected to die from breast cancer.
That’s the black and white, factual reasons why I walk. Then there is the grey area, the reasons of the heart that motivate me to walk. Less than a year after Hubby and I were married, we lost his father to cancer. Before I ever had an opportunity to meet my father in law, Wayne, he had already been diagnosed and undergone a double mastectomy for the treatment of his breast cancer. It all started when he felt a tiny pebble like area on one of his breasts. Wayne is more than just a statistic for us. He loved rebuilding old cars, the Beach Boys, his friends and his family,. Lots of times I feel cheated. Cheated because I only had a chance to know him for a short while. Cheated because my husband lost his first hero. Cheated because my children never had the opportunity to meet him. Now we are approaching Hubby’s 40th birthday, the doctors have advised him to begin the yearly PSA testing given his family history. So begins a journey of always trying to stay on the offensive should this nasty disease try to rear it’s ugly head in our family again. Or at least that is what my head says. My heart sometimes has moments of weakness and feels a little like it’s been gut punched. Like somewhere from the dark the other boot is going to drop down. I walk so that maybe before that happens a cure can be found.
There are several ways you can help me during this adventure. First is the most obvious, donations. If you are interested in donating, leave me your email address in the comment section and I will get in touch with you to provide you the information you need. Second, I need your prayers for strength during this process. Third, I need volunteers to take time to walk with me. I hate walking alone! It also helps to have people hold you accountable for getting your miles in.
As I continue with this journey I will try my best to keep you all updated to how things are going so you can experience all the trials and tribulations with me. This is my second time participating in the walk so I know that are a lot of moments to come that will be both emotional and hilarious!